tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-17586511475291530702024-03-04T20:24:39.322-08:00Seen and SpokenThoughts on the Things of LifeRaquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.comBlogger61125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-4728312182745740802015-03-16T11:45:00.003-07:002015-03-16T11:45:48.100-07:00What we're Up To, Alphabet EditionIn a format that is perhaps only entertaining to me- What We're Up To, letter by letter:<br />
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A- Ants have returned with the warmer weather. The battle resumes.... Suggestions welcome.<br />
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B- Bigger and bigger! Those girls are growing- TT is sturdy and chunky, just like I was. H is almost skinny at the moment, post-growth-spurt. We think she gets it from E's mom. I never, ever imagined I would have a skinny child.<br />
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C- <a href="http://www.foodnetwork.com/recipes/ina-garten/roasted-carrots-recipe.html" target="_blank">Roasted Carrots</a> nom nom nom nom<br />
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E- Easter is coming. We're going to have a quiet Easter at home with our church. We'll have our friends over for a peanut-free egg hunt.<br />
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F- Fish. That's what TT is OBSESSED with- any picture of a fish in any book, no matter how small, merits attention and love. Favorites include fish bib, fish book we got her from the library, and CiCee, the beta fish we bought to feed her enjoyment.<br />
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G- <a href="http://www.drinksmixer.com/drink3779.html" target="_blank">Gin and tonic</a>, our new vice.<br />
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H- H woke up dizzy this morning and threw up after breakfast. After spending the day increasingly less terrified we were all going down with the nasty stomach bug that's been going around, we discovered- a raging double ear infection. Poor kiddo.<br />
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I- Fun Fact: No one in our house irons. Our kids were amazed when our guest the other week- an MD preparing for an interview nearby- got out the iron and pressed his shirt.<br />
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J- H has been lobbying for a jump rope, after managing to jump one time over her lacing card string.<br />
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K- Auntie K is coming this week! Yay!<br />
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L- Lemon Bars. We have been making this recipe from our sweet neighbor over and over and over.<br />
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M- <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Sigh-No-More-Mumford-Sons/dp/B0032Y8XH8" target="_blank">Mumford and Sons</a>, followed by more <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B008NW67E0/ref=pd_lpo_sbs_dp_ss_1?pf_rd_p=1944687502&pf_rd_s=lpo-top-stripe-1&pf_rd_t=201&pf_rd_i=B0032Y8XH8&pf_rd_m=ATVPDKIKX0DER&pf_rd_r=1NZ3X504Y6D3BS4C9FH9" target="_blank">Mumford and Sons</a>. And then a little more Mumford and Sons.<br />
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N- Nashville, how I love thee. (The show, not the place.) Thankfully it will be here to sustain me after Glee ends.<br />
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O- Outside is where H will be spending two mornings a week next year in her outdoor preschool. One last year of free play before 8 hours of kindergarten every day.<br />
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P- The park, every day we can. So glad spring is here!<br />
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Q- Quiet Time. God's gift to stay-at-home moms.<br />
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R- I'm back to running regularly after a long winter break. Here's to banishing those last 5 lbs of TT weight. E's been playing racquetball on his spring break.<br />
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S- Spagetti. Both one of J's favorite foods, and also her favorite "lullaby"- "On Top of Spaghetti...."<br />
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T- Taxes. We owe some after all- ugh. At least I'm doing it myself so we don't also owe someone to tell us that.<br />
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U- My oldest *may* have worn yesterdays underwear again today. Time to do some laundry. And maybe buy some more underwear.<br />
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V- We are planning our summer vacation(s)!! E and I are planning a get-away for a few nights- we were thwarted both before H was born (pregnancy complications) and before TT was born (the world was against us.) TT is almost two and will be weaned one way or another, and we are off!! We may also go to the beach with our parents.<br />
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W- "Who's a little Mama who eats cupcakes for breakfast?" That is what four-year-old H wanted my shirt to say when she informed me my outfit was not appropriate for my birthday. (She wore a party dress for the occasion, I wore my usual jeans-and-shirt<a href="http://www.babble.com/babble-voices/mama-said-whats-your-mom-uniform/" target="_blank"> mom</a> <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2014/11/simplicity-productivity-personal-uniform/" target="_blank">uniform</a>.<br />
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X- I'm trying to convince H that she should bring her vintage xylophone for X day of show and tell at school She wants to keep her streak alive of only brining in lovies and dolls. Also, she is not at all convinced that xylophone starts with x. I told her to look in any ABC book.<br />
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Y- We are a house divided on what to do with yearbooks. We've been sorting through memorabilia boxes. E kept all seven (!) of his. I kept 3 of mine. It would have been two, but I changed schools my senior year.<br />
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Z- H learned to zip her own jacket. Added to putting on her own shoes, using the bathroom alone and brushing her own teeth, I hardly know what to do with myself here!Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-87082674433817084852015-03-15T13:20:00.002-07:002015-03-15T13:59:05.625-07:00What I've been reading- a few notable reads<div>
I don't even want to say how long it's been since I've posted one of these- so let's just say that I have not read all these in the past month. Linking up with <a href="http://modernmrsdarcy.com/2015/03/reading-lately-new-notable/" target="_blank">Modern Mrs. Darcy's Quick Lit</a> to share some of my most notable reads lately.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/We-Were-Liars-E-Lockhart/dp/038574126X" target="_blank">We Were Liars</a>: This finally came through for me at the library, and it was fantastic timing- I binge-read it on a stressful day when I needed some serious distraction. Suspenseful and enjoyable, I didn't feel it expanded beyond it's YA genre. At first I felt betrayed by the ending, but I've come around to it. It's certainly stuck with me as an intriguing piece of work. Young love, mystery, and heartbreak.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Cinderella-Ate-Daughter-Dispatches-Girlie-Girl-ebook/dp/B004DI7M2Y/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426448730&sr=1-1&keywords=cinderella+ate+my+daughter" target="_blank">Cinderella Ate My Daughter</a>: I fit right into this book's target demographic, with four year old and one year old daughters. While some of the material felt like filler, I found my conversation littered with stories and facts from this book for about a week, and it certainly strengthened and clarified some of my feelings and guiding principles on dealing with this aspect of raising daughters. So much pink.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Outlander-Novel-Book-1-ebook/dp/B000FC2L1O/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1426448761&sr=1-1&keywords=outlander" target="_blank">Outlander</a> & <a href="http://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B000FC2L28/ref=series_rw_dp_sw" target="_blank">Dragonfly in Amber</a>: The adventure in the Scottish Highlands- and Jaime- were my favorite parts of these. The physical romance *ahem* was a little much for my taste- I'm happy to skim, but I felt the heavy-handedness detracted a bit from the story. I was hoping the second book would have more adventure and less (descriptive) romance, but I found the time spent in France to be quite slow. I haven't moved on to the subsequent novels, but I might take them to the beach. History, chivalry, and indecision.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Seabiscuit-American-Legend-Ballantine-Readers-ebook/dp/B00495XOWS/ref=sr_1_1_ha?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1426448813&sr=1-1&keywords=seabiscuit" target="_blank">Seabiscuit</a>: Laura Hillenbrand was everything she is made out to be. If I had any complaint, I'd say that reading about a horse can only draw you in so much- I'm ready to read Unbroken. Quirkiness, portraiture, and horse racing.</div>
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Age-Miracles-A-Novel/dp/0812982940" target="_blank">The Age of Miracles</a>: I'd put off reading this one- the plot line didn't catch me- but then I found it at the library. It excellently evoked a sense of impending doom, but after finishing it I'm not sure what it was leading up to. It might work as a cautionary tale of environmental abuse of the Earth. Reflection, family, and coming of age.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/The-Invention-Wings-Monk-Kidd/dp/0670024783" target="_blank">Invention of Wings</a>: This was one of my favorite books I've read recently. I'm sure it was somewhat sanitized, but the fictionalized narrative was very satisfying without losing the inspiration of a real character. Strong women, strong principles, and human nature.</div>
Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-55048160703644854352015-03-02T18:27:00.002-08:002015-03-03T07:51:03.590-08:00Community and Transience<div style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; font-family: Helvetica; font-size: 12px; text-align: left;">
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;"><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">Our two two-year stints, and our recent 18-month anniversary at our current location, mean that for the past few years we have experienced local community as transients. In our Small Town, we didn’t know how long we would be there, but in Academic Town (formerly known as </span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-color: rgb(35, 35, 35); -webkit-text-stroke-width: initial; color: #232323; font-family: Arial; font-size: 13px;">Slightly Bigger Town, Slightly Less Midwest</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;">- but that’s way too long), we knew from the outset we would only be there two years. While E had several friends from work, a few of which we got to know as a family, I mostly connected- or tried to connect- with women who were there permanently. It didn’t take me long to wish I had been more evasive about our long-term plans.</span><span style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: initial;"> </span></span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">I was never totally sure how much of the reserve was on my side, and how much on theirs, but being the transient academic family trying to break into an established community was definitely not on my side. This was a really nice group of women who met twice a month for a spiritually oriented moms group, which I really, really enjoyed. By the second year we were there I was helping lead the group (mostly administrative tasks) and seeing some of the women a couple times a week through different organized activities, but I never totally felt a part of the group, and didn’t make close friendships there. Which is not to say that community was not valuable to me- they brought us meals when we had TT, they prayed for me during my antepartum depression, and the activities and acquaintanceships were a lifeline as I struggled through my pregnancy while home full-time with two year old H. But the emotional ties I have there- or lack thereof- stand in stark contrast to the ones I made in Small Town. And while there are likely a number of factors going on, I can’t help but think a major one was that we all knew my family would be leaving.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">That was one of our experiences, but transient community is not always doomed- far from it. (If that were true, college would be so boring!) It does require greater commitment to have the full experience of friendship and community in those circumstances. We had an acquaintance in Small Town who was there for her husband's residency, who was one of the earliest and most active members in our church and community. She talked about the difficult time she had while he as in medical school, as they were far from their hometown for the first time, and how she spend the four years moping and waiting to be finished. Fortunately, by the end of four years she realized she couldn’t go on like that- and she could control her situation by being proactive in participating in their community and making friends in their next location. And wow, did they ever. They hosted and hosted, were friendly and made friends, and everyone was sad when it was time for them to go. Of course, sometimes living in an academic town or transient area means you get burnt out from so many people moving away, and have to step back or pick and choose among those kind of relationships. That hasn't been our experience yet, but I imagine it will be some day- and I do respect that.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">In addition to greater commitment, I’ve found transient community is eased when it’s mutual- that's why college is so non-problematic. You don’t have to only make friends with those whose arrival and departure dates only coincide with your own, but I’ve found- from both sides!- that people who are only here for a time are much more forgiving of others' plans to move on. Additionally, of course, people who are new to an area are looking for friends and connections- a fact I’ve shamelessly exploited, time and time again. When we first moved here to the Slight South, I was on the constant lookout for others who were new to the area and might be looking to make friends.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: inherit;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of course, there is a benefit to passing through- you don’t have to choose your friends too carefully, knowing you will be moving on and can use that as a natural endpoint if needed. Fortunately, we haven’t had too many experiences where we took advantage of that, but it’s true that when I know we are planning to move again soon, I tend to be content with quantity over quality. Fortunately, this is a dynamic we will be experiencing a little less, now that we are here in the Slight South for a least a few more years. However, living in an academic town means there will always be a high percentage of transient people looking for community. I hope we show them the compassion and investment we were looking for as we moved frequently over the past few years.</span></span></div>
Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-8022597025508662082015-02-25T17:04:00.002-08:002015-02-25T17:04:45.409-08:00Worth MendingSewing a button that had come off on my apron today, I noticed it looked as though it had been mended before. This apron- one of three in our house, and by far the sturdiest (the others having come from the dollar store and Tanzania), was inherited by me at some point from E's beloved grandmother. She looms large and loved in E's family memories, and was in many ways the center of his extended family. She passed away before we were engaged. While I met her- probably on several occasions- I know her by far the best through Steve and his Pop, who survived his wife by over 7 years. We have several things of hers- some costume jewelry I took mostly to share with our then-potential, now-flesh-and-blood daughters, a cedar chest I adore, and a gorgeous mirror and tray set. I felt a matriarchal connection tonight thinking how she had taken on this same little task, probably in the last third of her life, with likely far less existential thoughts. I hope I leave behind things worth mending; I wonder what they will be and who will be taking on that task.<br />
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<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-85871721350274665862015-02-17T12:16:00.000-08:002015-03-03T07:47:14.864-08:00Growing Girls<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Precarious trip from bowl to mouth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Triumphantly pouring over pictorial directions.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><span style="font-family: inherit;">Suddenly, I eat in peace, if not quiet.</span></span></div>
<span style="font-family: inherit;"><br /></span>Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-64489660201184877062014-10-06T17:51:00.003-07:002015-03-02T18:28:08.854-08:00Community: Not just friendsIn Small Town, Midwest we (eventually) found ourselves at a wonderful church plant- just big enough to feel like a church, just small enough you could conceivably know everyone. We liked the service, but we were sold when the pastor welcomed us, chatted about our church background, and recommended several other churches we might check out if we wanted to look around more.<br />
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To be honest, the members were so friendly we were actually a little put off- someone invited us to lunch our first day there, and we turned them down. (Midwestern hospitality- it's a thing. We weren't ready yet.) Soon after, another couple with three young kids invited us to get together, and I was a little unsettled when I realized they had actually gotten a babysitter- for the first time ever- just to meet us for coffee one evening. Once we realized they were in fact normal (for the midwest) and just being friendly, we really grew to like that community. That lovely family that got a babysitter were our best friends there! (Fun fact: I'm eternally grateful my first "mom friend" was on her third child and not her first.) Now that we have young kids ourselves and know their situation a little better, it all makes perfect sense.<br />
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Since we left the area about 18 months after we found that church (during which we had a difficult pregnancy and new baby), we didn't ever get to know everyone in the church- but we joined a small group and were varying levels of close with several other families. We did play dates and met downtown and exchanged advice and gave recommendations and had dinner and prayed- together and for one another. A picture taken at our last meeting shows rumpled parents and children either wild-eyed and crazy or sleepy and fussy, and we kept it on our fridge for two years.<br />
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We were so sad to move away from that community, and we never found one like it in our next location. Even though we had almost the same number of close friends there, they didn't know each other- and so it didn't have the same sense of community. Recommendations didn't trickle back in when word got around that you were looking for a good place to take your parents for dinner. You didn't hear that someone's baby was sick and that's why they weren't there this week. We had a "small group" with one other couple, but if one of us was traveling- which happened frequently- that was it, there was no meeting. There were no group dynamics.<br />
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I think maybe we were meant to live in small towns*, and the isolation modern life isn't as healthy for us. Whether or not that sense of community is a universal desire, it has always been precious to me, ever since my first strong group of friends in high school.<br />
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*(I will say I found actual small town life very difficult. Breaking into a close community is a whole other post!)Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-2153337102875220492014-09-30T19:08:00.002-07:002015-03-02T18:28:08.848-08:0031 days of CommunityWhenever we move, people love to ask how we like our new location. I never like it. A new place always has plenty of warts sitting on the tip of its nose, but you have to know it a while to appreciate its sly sense of humor, its humble service, or its belly laugh (or, if you always move in August, its mild winter.) But the main reason I never like our new location is we have never moved into a ready-made community. We had a great one in our Hometown, we found a great one in Small Town, Midwest, and we struggled to have one in Slightly Bigger Town, Slightly Less Midwest. (How did I never name that location before? Those were two hard years.) I showed up here in the Slight South last year ready to craft a community for our family from sheer will and the skin on my teeth. I have heard of mythical people move to a place where they have family, or friends, or a branch of their church, or whatnot- but that's never been us. I don't know that I recommend our method.<br />
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However, all that moving has allowed me many moments to reflect on community, the different types we've had (and wanted), how to cultivate it, and why it matters. Hopefully enough moments to make it through (about) 31 days of discussion! (OK, really I'll be happy with 15- we'll see!)Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-29580319348146667192014-09-22T18:06:00.003-07:002014-09-22T18:06:58.807-07:00What We're Into: Labor Day Edition<i>(This is very belated, but I found this in the drafts folder today. At the time it seemed a little too Eeyore, but in retrospect E and I got a good laugh. Hopefully the Fall Edition has a little more cheer and a lot more pumpkin spice.)</i><br />
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We are settling into our new house- it's slowly feeling less like a really nice vacation home, and more like a place we live, and also, inexplicably and somewhat overwhelmingly, own and are responsible for. Some things we're into right now:<br />
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<b>Our exterminator</b>: Dave and I are on a first-name basis. He's come three times for wood roaches and once for yellow jackets. I'm wondering if he does snakes.<br />
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<b>Deep breathing</b>: We found three more wood roaches in the past week, and I had been hoping not to renew my acquaintance with Dave until spring. One was dead and none were in our bed, so we're thinking good thoughts and trying not to hold our breath.<br />
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<b>Yard work</b>: After E found a copperhead hiding in the rotting plant he was removing, we are on a mission to destroy any attractive snake habitat in our yard. At the current rate we're going, this will take infinity weeks.<br />
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<b>Paying bills</b>: We bought a house with 600 additional square feet, painted a room, exterminated (twice), replaced 20 feet of sewer pipe, extricated yellow jackets from our walls (exterior!) and replaced the damaged siding, and bought a literal truck load of furniture from Ikea. You can do the math if you like, but I'd rather not.<br />
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<i>(It's real-time me again. Just wanted to let any concerned parties know that we have not found any more snakes and only one roach since writing this. The AC was almost broken but it turns out we are signed up for some kind of remote shut off on really hot days, so the bills are OK too.)</i>Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-67690630473620487572014-09-22T17:50:00.000-07:002014-09-22T18:27:16.500-07:00Living without a microwaveSo, I'm not a total crazy conspiracy theorist. But, when I found out I was pregnant five years ago, I was heating up my lunch at work with the microwave pointing directly at my yet-unformed baby- and I wondered. There are tons of sources of radiation in my life, and it seemed like this would be a relatively easy one to ditch. I met one friend who only used their microwave to store food in, and I was inspired, but I could never quite pull the plug. (Literally.)<br />
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When we moved to the Slight South a year ago, our rental had a built-in microwave, and no room to store ours, so we got rid of it on Craigslist. Of course, when we moved this summer into our new home, it didn't come with a microwave. While our new kitchen has more counter space than I'm used to, after so many years of counter space scarcity, I wasn't looking to give any up. So I figured we'd see how it went- we could always buy one later.<br />
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It has been a bit of a learning curve: re-heating rice in a pan was not my best experiment. (Much better in the oven. Thank you Google.) The basic microwave-alternatives are:<br />
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Heating in a pot: Great for melting, soups, sauces, and saucy things (like pasta in sauce or leftover meat in sauce to be served over pasta, rice, etc). Sometimes the sauce will burn a little bit on the pot, but it cleans up pretty easily with a scrubby.<br />
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Heating in the oven or toaster oven: This has a benefit it took me a while to notice: I go do something else while the food heats. If I heat something up in the microwave and it takes two or three minutes, I usually just stand aimlessly in the kitchen or try to work on a quick task- but it's not really enough time to finish anything. If it takes ten or 15 minutes to heat in the oven- I put it in, set the timer, and move on to the next thing! No awkward waiting. Of course, that means ideally I think about lunch a whole 15 or 20 minutes in advance- awesome when it happens, but it doesn't always. Still, I love the lack of awkward waiting- especially if we're heating up a variety of leftovers that would all require their own several-minute wait. Today I heated two slices a pizza, a couple bites of leftover broccoli, a hot dog, a leftover friend chicken tender, and a hot dog bun all on one big cookie sheet. Ten whole minutes to set the table and heat some soup- and everything was done!<br />
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Quick dunk in boiling water: Works great for quickly re-heating boiled or steamed veggies, plain pasta, or the frozen dumplings.<br />
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Sauteing in a pan: I've done this with leftover veggies too. Yum.<br />
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Benefits? The food tastes amazing! It makes me wonder why I put up with that microwaved texture all those years! Also, it seems to stay hotter and be more evenly heated.<br />
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Downsides? Dishes. I usually have to use a different pot or pan that the one I used to store the leftovers. I also ended up buying a tiny saucepan for heating a small amount of food or water. Worth it. (My Dad said heating water in that little pot was actually faster than the microwave!)<br />
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It's true that it takes longer and sometimes I get impatient and the food is not as warm it might be. For the most part, it's not a problem- I feel like since the food is more evenly heated, it tastes much better lukewarm than with awkward hot and cold spots like insufficiently heated microwave food.<br />
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I've been surprised how much I like not having one! But, after so many years of dependence, I still don't think I'd have the discipline to leave it unused. And that's why I haven't bought a tiny one, even to sterilize our sponges and <a href="http://www.amazon.com/NeilMed-Sinus-Rinse-Bottles-Premixed/dp/B001HDRHR8" target="_blank">nose-rinsing squeeze bottles</a>. (That's a whole other post, no?)Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-1929137792018309252014-05-27T10:26:00.000-07:002015-03-02T18:28:51.612-08:00Summer 2013 Part 3: In which our apartment is already populatedSo, summer of 2013, me and the girls got on a plane: a 3 week old TT and a not-quite 3 year old H. I rode in a wheelchair at the airport, worried that all the walking would exhaust me unduly. In fact, we got lots of special attention with the airline: newborn baby, me in the wheelchair, and H with her peanut dust allergy pass. Fun times. My blessed, long-suffering parents met us at the airport (mind you, they had left our house two weeks ago after coming to help while we HAD TT). We stayed with them for a week while E's dad went out to help him clean, close up our rental, and supervise the packing and loading of our earthly possesions. God bless them all, I don't think it's a week anyone involved would want to relive, but there were no outstanding incidents, so we'll call it a win.<br />
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Once E reunited with us, we stayed with his parents for all of- I think- a day and a half until we got the call that our belongings would be arriving in the Slight South ahead of schedule. Overall, this was great news, but we realized we needed to hightail it down there to be ready at 7am the morning the truck might arrive. We came down a day early and got the key, set up a bank account, and got new cell phones and service. (With a newborn. Did I mention that? TT turned 5 weeks the day our belongings arrived at our new house). Also, the morning our belongings arrived, I got the call that my Grandma had died in the night. It wasn't too unexpected, but it was sad- especially because I didn't really have time to grieve at the time. I remember the morning in our new place answering the door crying. It was the mail lady with a question about who was living there now. She asked if I was OK, and I told her my grandma had just died. Even though it was the truth, I wonder if she thought I was a battered wife making excuses.<br />
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E's family came down the day after us and stayed in a hotel for a few nights to help us get unpacked and settled. (More blessings on them. They have helped us move every time- 4 times in 7 years.) They left, and then shortly after TT and I flew back home to attend the funeral. E and H put up curtains and visited campus to get E's ID card and find his classes.<br />
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But I skipped the part in which our apartment was populated. The day we moved in, E saw a 3-inch long roach crawl out of the dishwasher space toward the pizza box, and then back under the counter. We got a can of raid, and that evening there were about 6 live, dead, or dying roaches to be dealt with- all giant, and one with babies. We were back at the landlords office the next morning, livid and/or in tears. (I'll leave you to guess who was who.) They assured us these were "waterbugs"- American Cockroaches- not the German Cockroaches one finds in restaurants, slums, and NY apartments. They are endemic to the south and sneak in houses, but don't generally eat food. In our case, it seems they had taken up residence around our dishwasher- or more likely in the crawl space just outside it- while our apartment had been unoccupied. They had a pest company come out and spray outside (I guess it took a few days- I was back from the funeral by the time they came). We stopped seeing live roaches, though we would come across a dead one about once a day (the company said that was normal), but I was finding the poop everywhere, more and more and more in the living room and kitchen. We had sprays, powders, all our food in containers, natural deterrents- all of which had to be bought during the day with a newborn and toddler, and then applied at 10:30 when TT finally fell asleep, because I wanted them to have a little contact with the chemicals as possible. I was about to actually loose my mind- thinking about breaking our lease and moving again sounded impossible, and I just didn't know what to do. The day I found "roach" poop in TT's car seat was the worst- I called my mom crying (again) and she asked if I was sure it wasn't a mouse. I said of course of I was sure, hung up, cried some more, and then thought.... huh. Maybe it is a mouse. (How closely do you really look at poops number 20-200?) What do you know.... we had a mouse!<br />
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I'm pretty sure I had actually trapped the mouse in our house as I was sealing up holes- that last day I would turn around and find more poop, though we never actually saw the mouse running around. I schlepped the girls back to the ACE to buy every kind of mouse trap they had. I think I set out about 17 that night- and I left the car seat on top of the table when we went to bed. One dead mouse and two days of cleaning later, our home was vermin-free. I felt 20 million times better.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-86497130786763124052014-05-15T18:00:00.002-07:002015-03-02T18:28:51.621-08:00Summer 2013 Part 2: In which we go Back to the HospitalClearly, we are all fine. In retrospect, this story is more of a comedy of errors, but at the time it was stressful and surreal.<br />
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When we came home from the hospital, about 36 hours after TT's birth (because babies come at night, yo), we did the usual things. H and TT looked at each other, we tried to keep them safe, nursing, resting, etc. Right as H went back into her room for bed with my mom, I took my (very, very) swollen feet down from a stool where they had been propped up- I think to use the restroom- and one of my knees dislocated. This was very painful, especially as the muscles spasmed to try and move it back into place. I was very glad Rose was back in her room and not really aware of what was going on, because I did shout a bit. I wasn't sure what had happened, and wouldn't let anyone touch it. We ended up calling an ambulance (remember, I had a baby less than 48 hours ago- I was in no condition to hop to the car.) When they told me I had to stand up to get onto the stretcher, I was not very happy. But, thank God!, standing up popped it back in. (They said it might.)<br />
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Being stressed and hormonal, I let the EMT persuade me to go to the hospital. In retrospect I wish I had the confidence to turn him down, but he pulled the "you wouldn't want that to happen while you're carrying the baby" card, and I didn't have much to say to that. My dad brought TT in the car to wait in the parking lot, so she would be close if she had to nurse- I really didn't want my one-day-old baby in the ER picking up infectious diseases if we could avoid it.<br />
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And that is how TT got to try a pacifier at one day old, where H had to wait something like two months. (Ironically, TT would never, ever, use one.) My dad is the master at keeping hungry babies happy without mom, and his skills came in very useful. To this day we think they have a special bond.<br />
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The EMTs were laughing at my low pain ratings (I had just given birth!!!). Once my knee popped back in, it didn't hurt all that much, though my tailbone was still killing me (from giving birth). Riding on the stretcher in the ambulance was no fun in that regard. We all had an ironic laugh when I got there and they asked if my insurance had changed in the last six hours.<br />
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I did learn what gets you street cred in the ED: a one-day-old baby in the parking lot. Everyone was exceptionally speedy (considering it was the ED and I was not dying) except the radiology department. We had been there a couple of hours and were literally about to sign the papers to leave against medical advice without getting an x-ray, when they came to get us. Somehow the message had gotten confused, and they thought I had a one YEAR old baby in the parking lot. It became clear I did not when I was yelling about my tailbone and how I had given birth the previous day. Ironically, when they pulled me straight up from lying down after getting the x-rays (my stomach muscles were dead), I think they re-located my tailbone also. Unfortunately, that took much, much longer to heal than my knee, which has not given me a moments (physical) trouble since then- it did cause quite a bit of anxiety for a few weeks.<br />
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The only other funny story while we were there- after we had been through triage and were waiting in our room, I figured I had better go to the bathroom. As women who have given birth know, it's a little hard to tell when/how bad you have to go at first. I walked next door to the bathroom, and as I went to pull my pants down I thought I had started hemorrhaging or something- and then realized, no, I was just peeing. There was a LOT of pee- I probably had had to go since I went to stand up at home, but had totally forgotten (not that there was a lot I could have done about it.)<br />
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The X-ray was fine, and the doctor tried to get me to follow up with the sports clinic (I was leaving the state in 3 weeks and had a newborn- that never happened). The nurse told me not to do any deep squats- we both laughed. I almost cried in relief that TT had weathered the separation well and was asleep when we we got to the car. They had given me a bulky brace to wear that I couldn't even get into the car wearing (I was afraid I would dislocate something else!). Steve went and got me 3 other braces when we got home- he had to talk the manager of the CVS into opening back up for him, and then wasn't sure which kind would fit best. While he was doing that, I showered, nursed TT, and continued on resting. I just couldn't even handle being traumatized about the whole experience at the time- all of my emotions were busy, which is probably just as well!<br />
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In retrospect, I realize I probably dislocated my other knee earlier during pregnancy- we were getting on a plane to look for housing in the Slight South. Since I was standing up, I must have naturally shifted my weight to the other leg and it popped right back it. It was actually a lot more sore then than after this time- probably because the tendons were even looser after giving birth! Something to watch out for if I'm ever pregnant again.<br />
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<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-71185035050809046112014-05-10T17:04:00.001-07:002015-03-02T18:28:51.618-08:00Summer 2013 Part 1: In which TT is bornSo, we had Lots. Of. Events. this past summer and fall, and we were too busy having them to blog. I thought I'd do a little series to catch up, starting with TT's birth story. Since today is Mother's Day, it seemed and appropriate day to post TT's birth story. Be warned, I don't feel it is particularly graphic, but it is- you know- a birth story. Involving lady parts and bodily functions. Continue reading at your own discretion.<br />
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TT was due June 18th, I'm pretty sure. I was sure I would be pregnant past her due date, but that did not dissuade me from hoping I would go into labor every day after 37 weeks. H had been born via planned c-section at 37 weeks due to my (her? our?) placenta previa, so this was by far the longest I had been pregnant. I was walking about a mile every evening, convinced I would be the only pregnant person to never give birth, and trying not to imagine that I would need another c-section two weeks before we had to be on a plane out of MI.<br />
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I woke up in the early morning with some leaking of what I was pretty sure was amniotic fluid with meconium. I think I woke Steve up and called the midwives, and I was trying not to rush or get to excited, since I knew it could still be a long time. Our favorite midwife was in triage, and after much discussion, examination, and testing, they decided that it was amniotic fluid, without meconium, and sent us home. I was very unsure about the meconium issue, but didn't really want to stay in the hospital if I didn't have too, and so we went home and got ready for the day. We had just enough time to make it to Library Story Time- I was eager to get in as many more of those as we could before we moved, and wanted to keep our schedule mostly regular. We also called my parents to have them come out, since we knew the baby would be coming soon, one way or another. (Maybe we even did that before- it's amazing how fuzzy the details have gotten in the last nine months!)<br />
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So we did the library, and I think we got some take-out for lunch. My parents arrived in the early afternoon, and I went for a walk, and got some moderate contractions going, and rested for a bit. Eventually, it became undeniable that there was meconium in the fluid, and the midwife said to come back in. I had some dinner, and maybe even put H to bed, and we went in. I do remember that the room they had prepared for us was one we had heard the wireless monitoring didn't work in, and so I waited and contracted on a very hard bench for an hour or so while they prepared the next one. I was worried about angering the nurses, but knew I'd have to be monitored and didn't want to be stuck with the wires.<br />
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I don't remember much about that night- I know that I was having contractions, but not progressing very far. Our doula went home and got some sleep in the early hours of the morning, and came back later the next afternoon. We had been alternating trying to rest and trying walk and move around to get labor moving. My doula gave me a very relaxing massage on my legs as I rested on my hands and knees against the bed. We rested for a few hours in the afternoon; usually just as I was falling asleep I'd have an intense contraction, need to get up and use the bathroom, and then try and settle back down. All the time we were in the hospital laboring, storms kept sweeping across the area- we had a picture window overlooking the arboretum, and it was beautiful and surreal.<br />
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That evening, it was time to try pitocin- we had been in the hospital about 24 hours and I was definitely not progressing. The nurse started me on a very low dose, we went for some walks, and nothing was really happening. The next nurse moved it up more- 2?- I remember thinking I might ask to to only move it up half as much as she did, which was what the original nurse had planned, but I wanted to get this done with! I remember walking the halls, pausing for contractions but not really feeling too far gone, and seeing another (rough looking!) mom walking the hall with her newborn and partner, and our doula saying that would be us in a few hours! I felt very incredulous that an actual baby was going to come out of me, but I was desperate to no longer be pregnant!<br />
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Once we got back to our room, things picked up a bit- our doula turned down the lights, and I stood at the end of the bed willing the baby to come down with the contractions, watching the monitor. I remember E and the doula talking quietly, and knowing they thought I couldn't really hear- even though I was aware of what was going on, I wasn't in the mood to talk, and besides there wasn't much time between contractions anyway. Steve couldn't find my chap stick and tried to pass off the doula's as mine; I was onto him because her kind, which I also own, makes me nauseous during pregnancy (peppermint! Isn't that unfortunate?)<br />
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Eventually the pain was intense enough I wanted to get in the bath; there was a brief slowing of labor when I got in the tub. But, after a seemingly very short time, things picked back up and I felt I needed to push soon. The midwife came in and checked me- I think I was at a 7 or an 8?- and left again. By now I was very emotional, and almost as soon as she walked out, I said I was already pushing and to call her back in! Around this time I had some very strong, involuntary pushes- it felt like vomiting, but down instead of up! I had never heard of this, and found it very disturbing. The midwife came back and I'm pretty sure she stretched me out to a 10, and said I was cleared to push! I gave a few pushes in the tub, but when someone suggested I might be having trouble because of the water, I agreed and decided to get out. (I LOVED our hospital; they would have been happy for me to deliver in the tub if I wanted!) I was also very distressed that I might have a BM in the water- they weren't concerned, but I felt it was unsanitary to have a baby be born into poopy water!<br />
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I only made it halfway onto the bed before I felt the baby was coming, and stopped moving with one leg stuck up on the pushing bar! I was trying to go gently to avoid tearing, but it seemed TT's heart rate was slowing down, or they were having trouble finding it, and they got our consent to put a scalp electrode on her. I figured since the baby was in distress, I'd have to just push it out, tearing be d*mned, and out she came before they ever got the monitor put on! They announced it was a girl and laid her on me. I had been very concerned about the placenta coming out, after the problems we'd had with H, but it's true what they say- I barely even noticed, though I do remember being glad when it was out and done. I felt SO much better with that baby out! We cuddled for a few mintues- probably quite a while, I even nursed her a bit- and E cut the cord. Eventually they took her away and wrapped her up, because my tearing was quite extensive. The midwife called in the gynocology resident, who called in the attending, who decided she could try and stitch it up there as opposed to in the OR. This was really quite painful, largely because I couldn't shift my position to relieve the pain on my tailbone (I'm pretty sure it had dislocated during the labor and birth). Once I found out an OR trip would mean general anesthesia, I "womaned up" and was more stoic! Around this time my blood pressure also became very, very low- around 50/30- and my doula fed me almonds, drinks, and even a turkey sandwich while I lay flat on my back! We took a short break for a few minutes once the team realized what we were doing, since they were still thinking about general anesthesia- but soon after they decided against it, and we carried on. It took quite a while- many hours or even a day or so- for my blood pressure to go all the way back up and for me to feel comfortable sitting and standing. When they first suggested moving rooms, I said I could not sit up, and if they needed to move me they needed to do it with me lying down. We stayed a few more hours =)<br />
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Overall, I remember thinking that perhaps I would give an epidural a little more thought if we had another baby, but now that the amnesia has kicked in it doesn't seem so bad. I was surprised how bad I felt those first days and weeks- my tailbone was a real problem- but it's true that my recovery was much, much faster than after a c-section! The memory of holding her immediately after is a very sweet one for me.<br />
<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-20508903943800613332014-05-05T17:27:00.002-07:002015-03-02T18:29:46.093-08:00Number Two at Ten MonthsSecond baby, your months go so much faster than the one who made me a mother. I never expected how quickly and bittersweet-ly the stages would pass the second time- what dragged and dragged before is now flashing by. You are already done with your morning nap, crawling, babbling, and signing a bit. Before I saw the transformation from helpless newborn to strong-willed preschooler, it was hard to imagine or believe. With you, I feel the inevitable certainty that your cute habit at three months, of rubbing your hands together as though plotting, will be a distant memory by the next doctor appointment. Your little adorable bald head already has adorable hair, your heart-melting gummy smile has been replaced by a heart-melting two-toothed one, and you have gone from contently observing in your bouncy seat to In. To. Everything, all the while smiling over your shoulder at us. All too soon, it feels, you will be defending your toys and demanding your way and busy, with arms and legs too long for squishy milk-drunk snuggles. I remember how the last layers of infancy fall away so quickly after the first birthday, and I wish I could sink my soul a little deeper into the babyhood of my baby before it's gone.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-15353792597072780722014-05-04T19:47:00.001-07:002014-05-04T19:47:31.128-07:00Our Summer PlanI have been thinking about H starting preschool almost since I got pregnant with TT, just after H's second birthday. Not because I was looking to pass her off and have some time with TT- though that's what many people suggested, and it <i>was</i> nice to have a break during a very challenging year both for our family and our resident 3-year-old. But, I was concerned about her having so many big changes in such a short span- new sister, relocation, and starting school all in a 3-month span, plus the normal worries about our shy child adjusting to school, and choosing a school long distance. We did what we could to prepare her, and it went great. I was so focused on the start of a decades-long endeavor that I didn't realize until March that SCHOOL STOPS DURING THE SUMMER. I was going to have our challenging three year old home full time for three full months. What used to seem totally normal now sounded incredibly exhausting.<br />
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So, we have a plan for the summer. Five activities, five weekdays, some flexibility.<br />
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Monday- Playgroup. We've been going to this for a month or so, and I like that Rose sees some of the same kids every week (outside of school). Unfortunately, there's no particular child that she connects with, but I like the other moms, it meets at a park, and I'm hoping familiarity will at least yield positive relationships for her.<br />
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Tuesday- Story time at the library. Our library here is not nearly as good here as it <a href="http://seenandspoken.blogspot.com/2012/09/library-day.html" target="_blank">was</a>, but still worth going, especially in the summer!<br />
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Wednesday- Pool. I hear there is a free pool here with a kiddie pool in the shade, and it's not too busy in the morning. I'd love to get H in the big pool- but we'll have to see.<br />
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Thursday- Museum. We have a membership to a great kids museum about 30 minutes from our house. I don't know that we'll do this every single week, but it's way to big to do it all in one visit, so we should be able to rotate through and enjoy it pretty regularly. We can also bring a friend with our membership, if anyone wants to come.<br />
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Friday- Errands or Morning Playdate. These last three things won't always be in the same order (and we'll have to plan around weather), but it gives me some good options. We all get cranky with too much unstructured time in the house.<br />
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These are all morning activities- we'll come home, have lunch, and either have play time in the house, or yard, or go to a nearby park or walk with a friend (until it gets too hot). Then we have rest time, and H usually gets a little TV while I prepare dinner. This part isn't too different from our routine now. (Neither is the rest, really, except H has been in school T/Th/F mornings).<br />
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Of course, this will only happen for about three weeks before we will take several weeks of all packing/moving/unpacking all-day-all-week (or as much as we can); but hopefully we will get back to it in mid-July.<br />
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Anyone else have a summer plan?<br />
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<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-76589994486932591732014-02-20T08:42:00.000-08:002014-02-20T08:42:17.165-08:00That time we were evacuated and there were ants in the strollerA little back story: We moved into our current house in the Slight South on August 6th, with a not-quite six week old baby and a two year old. I traveled home for a funeral, Esteban started teaching his classes at the university, and the two year old turned three, plus the usual unpacking, shopping, setting up that comes with moving. Our washer broke, so we were doing laundry at the laundromat, and we dealt with both roaches and mice. (Thinking the mice WERE roaches almost put me over the edge of a breakdown- but that's another post.) All this happens in about 3 weeks. Things were settling down a bit.<br />
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We come home one day- I don't remember from where, though I know it wasn't the laundromat, because I was wearing jeans, not my maternity skit that was the least-wearable thing I could still wear outside the house. Anyway, there is a lot of ruckus on our street- firemen, police men, official looking people, looking official. No one approaches me, so I get the kids into the house (this takes a few trips), and then decide I need to figure out what is going on. I try to approach the police who is parked outside our house, but he waves me away. I can't figure out what exactly is going on, but I see the firemen going to a house a few houses away, and it occurs to me they might be evacuating people. I try to avoid the panic-y feeling that urges me to do nothing, and figure I better change the baby's diaper and gather what we might need. I do change her diaper, and they do come to our door and tell us to evacuate- it's a gas main break on the the corner. And, we can't take our car. It's 95 degrees out, I'm wearing jeans, it's almost lunchtime, and we can't take our car. We don't even have a double stroller!<br />
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I put the baby in the Ergo (guess she's old enough!) and get the stroller out of the trunk, hoping I don't hurt her neck with the jerk required to pull it out and open. As I go to put H in the stroller, I realize there are ants ALL over it. Had we had more time, I would have set down the baby and gotten out the dust buster and spent some time going over it, but as it is I just try to dust off the worst of them and stick her in. And, we're off- somewhere. When I asked, they said fixing it "shouldn't take too long." Hopefully that doesn't mean all day. I think there is a coffee shop up the road? I'm not really sure how far it is, and it is HOT and I'm wearing jeans and we have 30 minutes until lunch and all I grabbed were some almond cookies (I guess we had to go shopping?) and a bottle of water. H can't usually eat anything from a coffee shop because of her peanut allergy, but maybe I could get her some milk? I have my cell phone, but E is in class and doesn't have a car, anyway. We don't know anyone else in town.<br />
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There is a lot of angsting and sweating along the walk, but there is in fact a coffee shop up the road (not the one I was expecting, but whatever!) We go in, and I find some cheese and a glutten-free muffin thing for H and I to share, and maybe I get a coffee too. H tastes the cheese and muffin, scattering crumbs with abandon on floor, table, and couch where she's sitting. Whatever.<br />
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As we went in I notice a pregnant woman my age ordering, and once we are settled in I notice her sitting with two friends, each with a baby. They don't seem to have been evacuated, they had planned to meet here. One baby is quite young, and they are discussing birth and breastfeeding and diapers and all the things you talk about with other moms when you have a very young baby. Eventually, and very uncharacteristically, I go over and ask if I can sit with them, and explain we were evacuated. They are all very nice, and it turns out, improbably, one of them went to my high school! She is a few years older than me.<br />
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When H says she has to go to the bathroom, they offer to hold TT and I gratefully let them. Once we got through the door without TT, H says "But you love your baby!" And I do have a little doubt then that I just left my baby with three strangers. But, my gut feeling was so confident I hadn't even worried about it until then, and so I figured that had to count for something. Plus, they all had enough babies at the moment. Still, I hurried H through the toilet process.<br />
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When the three friends packed up to go home, we walked with one who lived by us (but outside of the evacuation zone), and thankfully (!!!!!) we were able to go back inside. While I lost touch with the other two women, the one who lives by us has become a friend, and we go for a walk together once a week or so. Of all the disasters that befell us on moving here, this one definitely had the best outcome.<br />
<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-55645651960837810992014-02-18T17:44:00.000-08:002014-02-18T17:44:14.199-08:00On Home in Small SpacesWhen we arrived in our current home in the Slight South this August, it was our third move in four years; when we move into a house this summer, it will be our fourth in five years. Our first move was into a 700 square foot apartment/house thing where we had our first child, and our current home is about 1000 square feet for the four of us. (The house in between was blissfully, beautifully large.)<br />
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All of our houses have accommodations for guests; living so far from family and many friends, we are thrilled to host frequently. In the six months we have lived here, we have had guests stay with us five times. It would have been six, but E's family graciously stayed in a hotel when our guest room wasn't set up yet. When our good friends, also a recent family of four, stayed for several nights before Christmas, it was a tight squeeze, but a lot of fun! Especially with small children, it is so nice to have guests stay in your home so the adults can visit after bedtime or during nap time.<br />
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Having a nice home environment, for our own family and our guests, is a constantly evolving challenge and our house and family evolve. I thought I'd share some of our most useful strategies we've used for maximizing our space.<br />
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<b>1: Have less stuff: Purge it</b><br />
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I am ALWAYS! behind on this, but it is truly, and obviously, so helpful. One of the keys to this for me is not to worry to much about the "value" I'm loosing. I do consign things as appropriate, I occasionally try to sell a bigger-ticket item on Craigslist, we have had one yard sale, and I'm currently giving paperb*ckswap a go. However, more often than not I take a monetary hit just for getting something out the door instead of having it hang around until I have time to sell it for maximum profit. I think of it this way: Is a nice, uncluttered home worth money to me? I would certainly spend some dollars on decorative items for my home, and this is basically the same thing, in reverse.<br />
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Especially great times for this are right before, and sadly, right after a move. While the ideal time to purge is before a move, and we certainly do, there's something about unpacking and trying to find a place for everything that makes some things reveal their uselessness. The question is always, "Does this justify the space it takes up"? It also helps me to realize that purging is a process that needs to be repeated frequently- like shopping.<br />
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<b>2: Have less stuff: Don't buy it</b><br />
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Our families were so, so cooperative this year when we told them we didn't want any physical gifts for Christmas, and to please only get the girls one each. We make do with a very minimum of baby contraptions, with bonus points for foldable ones. (Even though E trips over it every day, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/BABYBJORN-BabySitter-Balance-Black-Silver/dp/B001GZJU4K/ref=sr_1_4?ie=UTF8&qid=1392670481&sr=8-4&keywords=baby+bjorn+babysitter" target="_blank">this</a> has been worth its weight in gold. Which is about how much it costs, incidentally.) I'm kind of a minimalist by nature, but knowing we don't have much space at home definitely keeps me honest.<br />
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<b>3: Have small stuff:</b><br />
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Our children's high chairs have a small footprint. Our dining room table is really much to small for the hosting we do, but it fits in our dining area. Our bedroom would be so much easier if we didn't have the sleigh bed we bought when we were married, but our first master bedroom was huge. We keep H's toys on the small side, so they fit (more or less) in the space allowed. We all have small wardrobes and (in theory) update them more frequently, since each item gets more wear.<br />
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<b>4: Use all the (non-visable) space:</b><br />
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Our suitcases are either packed inside one another or full of maternity or off-season clothes. We use shelving in closets and bins under the bed for storage. I have been known to hide things under and behind furniture. I try to keep frequently-accessed cabinets less full to make them easier to use, but lesser used spaces are crammed to the brim. Putting things in boxes or bins- even things like media, shoes, etc- can make it much easier to pull out the front things and access what's in the back.<br />
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<b>5: DON'T use all the visible space:</b><br />
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We have some decorations and knick-knacks that we love, but are in boxes right now. Clear surfaces and empty space are both visually relaxing and allow space for guests to put their books, drinks, laptops, phones, etc. This one, like the others, is a constant upward battle- but one of the reasons we like to host is we have a reason to get all cleaned up, and it looks so nice even after our guests leave.<br />
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Our latest trick to to put a blanket over the front of H's toy shelf in the evening, so we can't see the toys. This basically makes that space invisible for the evening, so it's not as distracting that it's crammed full of <strike>crap </strike>loved and educational toys.<br />
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<b>6: Use your car</b><br />
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It's not particularly gas-efficient, but we have kept our BOB in our trunk while we lived in both these small spaces. I also tend to stick things I need to get rid of in the car- this solves the immediate problem of getting it out of the house, and also I am ready whenever I see a donation bin or am near the goodwill/ consignment shop/ whatever.<br />
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<b>7: Nix the coffee table</b><br />
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We went shopping for a coffee table early in our marriage, and after making it through the whole Ikea tour, we realized we liked not having one. More room to lay on the living room floor, spread out a project, or (now) watch the babies play. Less places for clutter to accumulate and the babies to hit their heads. We have an end table on either end of the sofa and use stackable <a href="http://www.ikea.com/gb/en/catalog/products/24286205/" target="_blank">stools</a> as additional tables or seating as needed. Having the open space makes the room feel so much bigger.<br />
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<b>8: Rearrange</b><br />
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Even though we try to arrange our furniture carefully when we first move in, we always end up doing some significant rearranging, sometimes for several months. Especially when the space is small and the furniture is plenty, it can take a few tries to find the best arrangement, and can make a huge difference in the look and function of the room. I wish I had tips on specifically HOW to arrange, but so far it's just been trial and error.<br />
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While we are VERY much looking forward to more space in a new house, I am grateful that we've had the opportunity to consider each possession so carefully! I love having less stuff, and am constantly trying to simplify more- for more space, less time looking for things, and of course to make our next move easier. I'm sure it will be much harder to avoid the hoarding when we don't have any pending moves!<br />
<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-1867174345093448562014-02-10T13:05:00.001-08:002014-02-10T17:29:02.363-08:00I'm Into: Jan/Feb EditionWe are coming out of the disaster we've dubbed "The Semester That Shall Not Be Named", and it feels good. Some things we've been enjoying:<br />
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Being home: After SO many months on the go, we had our first totally unscheduled weekend at home the other week. Even when we haven't had plans, we have always had pretty major errands/tasks to do since we moved in- until last weekend. H and I literally stayed in our pj's all day, E got dressed around 3. We did lots of little things that had been piling up, and of course lots of nothing.<br />
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Kindle app: We got iphones when we moved here in August, and while they're incredibly expensive (!!), they are also incredibly convenient. I have been buying way too many of those 2.99 kindle books and reading them on my phone- just so easy to read while nursing, in the car with a sleeping baby, in bed.... anywhere. I blew through my Amazon gift card from Christmas and have had to reign it in a bit, because even 2.99 adds up.<br />
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Coffee ice cream: From Tr*der J*e's, during nap time. Just the caffeine hit I need to make it through the day.<br />
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Cleaning: I've been trying to keep it a little more picked up here, though perhaps the actual cleaning has been pretty much the same. Our place is super small and has a LOT in it, but I'm finding it's worth a little energy for the mental space we have from a neater physical space, especially now that we are having a bit more margin in our days.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Its-Not-Stork-Families-Friends/dp/0763633313/ref=pd_sim_b_3" target="_blank">It's Not the Stork!</a>: I am really loving this book ("About Girls, Boys, Babies, Bodies, Families and Friends"). We're skipping the birds-and-bees mechanics page for a few more months (we just tell H she's not old enough yet), but I have been so happy with this. It covers tons of information with such a great tone, and H loves the little cartoon Bird and Bee that offer commentary throughout the story. The Bird and Bee often have different perspectives that different children might feel- Bird finds some of the information funny, Bee does not; Bird feels sad talking about OK touch/not OK touch, Bee feels better; etc. It also goes over body parts, boys and girls both cry and play trucks, pregnancy/birth/young babies, families (including adoption), and more. We got this because I wanted H to have a little more information as she was starting preschool, and I'd seen the ones for older children. This one is for 4-7, and they have two others that go up from there. Such a great way to teach H the "real" names for body parts we have family names for, and open conversation on many other important ideas.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Love-War-Between-Josh-Garrels/dp/B00C9QRBH8/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1392066064&sr=1-1&keywords=josh+garrels" target="_blank">Love & War & The Sea in Between (Josh Garrels):</a> A gift to us from a friend during the STSNBN (see top), this is perfect for a Sunday afternoon, or any evening after the kids are in bed. Our favorites are Farther Along, Beyond the Blue, and Bread and Wine.<br />
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</span>Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-55024540683024344362014-02-06T12:13:00.001-08:002014-02-06T12:13:06.318-08:00What I've been reading: YA editionBack before I has children, I used to read All The Things, All The Time. I wandered after my mom in the grocery store with my nose in a book. I stayed up until midnight to get a new Harry Potter book, then generously let my sister read first, knowing she would fall asleep and I've have it all to myself- at 2am. I've always had a special place in my heart for YA fiction, reading it long before and after I was actually a young adult. I've been reading it more again lately, since the bearing and raising of children has alternately turned my brain to mush and made me so emotional <a href="http://seenandspoken.blogspot.com/2010/11/some-recent-events.html" target="_blank">adult books get thrown in the trash.</a> Here are some of the latest:<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Divergent-Veronica-Roth-ebook/dp/B004CFA9RS/ref=sr_1_2?ie=UTF8&qid=1391717009&sr=8-2&keywords=divergent" target="_blank">Divergent</a> Series: I've heard about these for a while, and they didn't seem particularly interesting. But, more and more people had read them, and finally something tipped me over the edge and I impulse-bought the first paperback from T*rget. The first half of the first book was good, and it trailed off after that. By the time I got to the third book, it was like a train wreck- I just couldn't look away. I read these pretty fast, as we had a fever in the house and I was spending a lot of time holding and comforting sad sick children. If it weren't for that, I may have gotten distracted and not finished the second and third. On the other hand, I'm a sucker for YA dystopian romance, so perhaps not. I thought the ending was distinctly unsatisfying, which I feel is a common issue in this genre. The political storyline, in particular, frequently goes through so many twists that by the end, I just don't care.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Wonder-R-J-Palacio-ebook/dp/B0051ANPZQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391717082&sr=8-1&keywords=wonder" target="_blank">Wonder</a>: I really enjoyed this. It chronicles the school year of a kid with an extreme facial deformity attending school for the first time, in about 6th grade. I found out after I read it that it was a "middle-grade" book, which I guess is for younger kids than YA. I loved the different narrators, and felt the different perspectives brought a lot to the story. While the ending was maybe a little cheesy, it was also very fitting.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Eleanor-Park-Rainbow-Rowell-ebook/dp/B008SAZHLQ/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391717118&sr=8-1&keywords=eleanor+and+park" target="_blank">Eleanor and Park</a>: This is a story of young love, and is really all about the characters. The plot is cute enough, and I was grateful that most of the tension in Eleanor's life was about things that could happen, not that had. The character of Park made this book, though perhaps Eleanor made Park.<br />
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<a href="http://www.amazon.com/Fangirl-Rainbow-Rowell-ebook/dp/B00BMKH5NW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1391717160&sr=8-1&keywords=fangirl" target="_blank">Fangirl</a>: By the same author as Eleanor and Park, this is about a socially anxious twin- Cath- attending her first year of college. A very, very cute and clever story, though I sometimes found the alternate story- excerpts from the fan fiction Cath wrote, and the book she wrote it from- more entertaining than the main storyline. Though, perhaps, that made Cath's obsession with it a little more realistic. In this book, the male protagonist was a bit weaker, though still a fun a quirky character. Rainbow Rowell has two other books out, and while they don't look particularly appealing, I may give them a try. I look forward to seeing what else she does. (Can that really be her real name?)<br />
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<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-21978953624100824452014-01-06T13:19:00.000-08:002014-01-06T20:14:32.716-08:00New Start 2014I'm not usually much for New Year's resolutions- the only one I've ever kept, I think, was to write in a journal every day when I was a young teen. (I came across it some time ago. Most. Boring. Journal. Ever.) In recent years, I've resolved to exercise more (of course), eat better (which I think has more to do with post-Christmas than the New Year), and wash my kitchen floor. I never did wash my floor that year, but I've done it several times in the few months we've lived here in the Slight South. Last year my New Years ambivalence hit an all-time high, as I was <a href="http://seenandspoken.blogspot.com/2013/08/lucky-again.html">pregnant/depressed </a> and E was on the job market, so our case scenario for the year was 7 more months of pregnancy, and then a new baby, cross-country move, and new job, in a two month span. And then, three more months to finish out the year. I think I said my resolution was to survive, which we did.<br />
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After a lovely-though-we-may-never-do-it-again two week holiday trip, we are back here in our tiny Slightly Southern house, and it feels more like a fresh start than we've had in years. Once again, I'm tempted to make grandiose plans and let them slide by day three. I've already fallen off the Instagram bandwagon. I did not use every minute of my day today productively tackling my epic post-holiday to-do list or interacting positively with my two growing girls. However, I am posting here- maybe I can re-create the journal experience. Though, certainly not every day, and hopefully a little more interesting. Really, though, I'm not making any specific resolutions other than to have a fresh start and end our season of family-in-transitional-crisis. And, on a related note, be on time.
Anyone else have plans for a fresh start this year? Or is this not the moment for you?Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-82016938614846449582013-08-18T10:52:00.000-07:002013-08-18T10:52:22.121-07:00Lucky, againSo, I'm back to life. Not long after the last post, we found out I was pregnant! This was great! Amazing! Long-awaited! I was thrilled beyond measure!<br />
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And it was awful, because pregnancy is like death to me, except for the part where I live through it and we get another child. I took the pregnancy test because I felt off, and then I think that day I started taking a nap every day. The past week included the first days I've successfully not napped since then. I purposely set out to not record this pregnancy, because, while I can't state strongly enough how grateful I am to have carried and birthed two healthy, loved, biological children, I also feel just terrible, mentally and physically, while I'm doing it. Last time I tried to record it, because that's what you do when you're pregnant! You're happy! This time I got counseling, and went to yoga, and did what I could to support myself. It didn't really help, but at least I had given myself permission not to blog about it.<br />
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But now, the night is over, the dawn has broken, and we are grateful to be settling in here with Almost 3 H and Baby TT in our new, permanent, Slightly Southern home. (The house isn't permanent, but the location is! Yay!) TT is fat (FAT!), happy, and mellow -- where H was small and sensitive, and I'm grateful TT is the one who arrived three weeks before we packed up and moved. (Well, we paid someone to pack up, but you get the idea.) I'm sad that the issue between us and another baby will likely be not finances, or desire, or fear of never sleeping through the night or spending time together (though that one is close), but it is the ability of me, and E, and our marriage to survive another pregnancy. But, I feel just as super human postpartum as I did last time. More, in fact, since I avoided a C-section. And this is a great time to feel super human.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-20956237635364103072012-09-16T16:56:00.000-07:002012-09-16T16:56:38.061-07:00LuckyThe other day, while H was playing with her new kitchen, she was saying in her baby voice "I so lucky. I so lucky."<br />
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I really can't think of any exposition that can improve upon that sentence.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-14939509298463720762012-09-10T12:04:00.000-07:002012-09-10T12:04:35.191-07:00Having it All on the other handAlso entitled "In which I vacillate aloud for your (or my) entertainment"<br />
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Baby H is two. Let's be honest, she will be "Baby" H at least until we have a new baby, which does not seem to be anytime in the near future. And on the one hand, she seems so old, so much her own person, not at all that baby we pretended was a toddler those long twelve months ago. She knows she is her own person, and likes to answer "no!", even when she means yes and cries and screams "yes!" and "no!" until sometimes, if we ask again nicely, she will answer honestly that yes, she would like milk and she would like socks and she would like help and now she needs a hug, too.<br />
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And on the same hand, some days I am so ready to send her off to Montessori school and pay for it with the money I'll get from my new full-time job. Though getting that job might be harder than it is in my imagination. I probably won't find out for a while, because on the other hand, I wonder who will give her milk, and put on her socks, and help her, and give her a hug now that she needs one? And then, I think, of course, of course her lovely teacher would, and H would love her as much as she loves Miss L, the librarian, who in H's world is the rock star above all rock stars, who stamps hands and sometimes will say hello if there aren't too many other kids watching who will need hellos too. (Once shy H, surprised by seeing L there on her day off, was distracted from playing and was staring and when I asked her what she was doing accidently shouted "MISS L!" and was a little embarrassed but then thought it worked out great when Miss L invited H over for a sticker. And now they are BFF.)<br />
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But as I was saying, I guess this comes down to the eternal question of moms of our time, about Having It All and what All are we having, anyway? It's true, in ways it wasn't, that you can have it all, if that means having a job and a family, and enjoying them both. It's not true, in the way people wish it was, that everyone can be the toddler milker-socker-helper-hugger all-day-every-day (except when Dad's home, sometimes) and have a successful, meaningful career. Or maybe it's just me that wishes that. Obviously, there are lots of Alls between and around and in those options, and everyone chooses their own All with their own mistakes and successes and failures and trade-offs, and most of those ways are good in the end.<br />
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So we are choosing ours. And with the Montessori, I'm stuck on the other hand, and I just can't and just haven't, even though some part of me wishes I was so passionate about something as to go out and get a job about it. It's true that the more I stay home the more I think daycare is great, a totally good way to structure your family for both the parents to work and kids to have their own little world where they're cared for and loved and do fun things all day, not just go to T*rg*t and play while Mama does the dishes. So I reserve the right to re-evaluate, and might do just that, any second. Really, she'd be fine, she is two, she is ready for college any day now. Though on the other hand, now that I think about it that way, maybe I'll wait a few more years.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-77351869049678506032012-09-09T11:53:00.000-07:002012-09-09T11:53:48.163-07:00Library DayOh Library Day, how I love thee. Of all of our weekdays, you are blessed, because Baby H and I both enjoy your activities. Just when we are starting to get crazy- which sometimes is as soon as the library opens- we get to leave our house! And go somewhere! With entertainment, provided by others! Mama gets to look at some books, for about 4 seconds. If it's a really good library day, there will be holds for us. (I have them pull holds for me even if they were at the library to begin with, so I don't have to drag poor Baby H though the adult section and look at books with one eye and half a brain while the other half watches H pull books off shelves and the the other eye checks for judge-y patrons/ scolding librarians.)<br />
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Then we head back to kiddie land, and I follow H around, until it's time to secure our spot in The Mosh Pit, aka the story time area. We have to get a good seat so we can be up close and personal with Miss L, the best storyteller ever. (Really, that part is totally true.) Once we fight off the camp and daycare hoards, story time can start. H tries to avoid falling asleep on my lap while I enjoy the feeling that I'm being a good parent while doing absolutely nothing. Win! Then, H gets to practice her social/pushing skills while she goes to get a stamp on her hand. If we came early, Mama is usually tuckered out of supervising, and we head home for lunch. And nap. During which I have new reading material! And then, the day is half over! Now, the only question is about the afternoon activity....<br />
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<br />Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-91587890034873461382012-06-25T18:25:00.001-07:002012-06-25T18:25:22.937-07:00One Year HereWe're alive! It's summer! We've already abandoned our latest church, since our friends left with their new baby. Can you believe their nerve? They spend their whole pregnancy here, and then they whisk that baby off before she's even two weeks old. Or something like that. (No hard feelings, guys. We do miss you, though!) We're now attending sporadically at a different Catholic church, and we're just gonna wait it out until we move again. Unless someone awesome invites us to their awesome church. It could happen.<br />
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Baby H is all toddler. Examples:<br />
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Talking: Every morning when she wakes up, and anytime sleep of any kind is mentioned: "No, plaaaaaayyy!"<br />
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Opinions: "Baby H, are you ready to go?" (This has always been rhetoric before.) "No, pooping." Well then. We were a few minutes late.<br />
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Emotions: We got a new book from the library. She cries big, real, sad cries every time we get to the line about soap in the eyes. If it's bedtime, she doesn't quite recover before falling asleep.<br />
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Gross motor: What?! This is the child who didn't roll over until 14 months. Nothing impressive going on here. She can climb into a chair now, though.<br />
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Relationships: She remembers people better than we do. Honestly.<br />
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Chronology: She's started saying "Two Auga" when asked how old she is. She must have heard us answer a few times.<br />
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Favorites: Pool time, other people, laughing, running in circles, babies, nakey time and animals. Soccer, reading, "tackling," and fake nap time are high on the list also.<br />
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Eating: I made us a box of mac & cheese for lunch. I think she ate at least half. I was still hungry.<br />
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I could go on, but I have to save some material for next time. Soon, for reals.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1758651147529153070.post-32488534553634179382012-02-29T18:18:00.001-08:002012-04-18T06:37:08.259-07:00Church in the Land of StrangersSo, lest my last post left you feeling all doom-and-gloom, let me first assure you that we are attending a church full of (as far as week can tell) terribly lovely people. This church hunt was our most discouraging, and I am now totally on board with all those people who decry the state of church in America. I'm so sorry for ever judging you.<br />
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Second, to all who attend churches who do not deserve to be placed in that decried state, let me plead with you: Please, please, please say hello to the new family. If you're not sure if they are new, you can always ask how long they've been coming. If you want to tell them about your awesome nursery, cool. If they demure, emphasize how lovely it is to have families worship together in the sanctuary. (If you don't think this..... well, that's a whole other post.) I'm hoping I can keep up with my own advice.<br />
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By the way, to our church in Small Town, Midwest- we miss you. We love you. You are so awesome. We were actually a little creeped out by your friendliness the first time we came. That's the way to do it. I might cry right now thinking about your awesomeness.<br />
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We tried what feels like many, many churches here. At least two we left partway though the service. Now, as I said before, we are certainly picky to a fault- but still. Both of the ones we left early, it was because no one seemed to be engaged in the service. Our current church has faults too (*cough* the music), but everyone has been perfectly lovely (i.e. they notice we exist), and it seems like they have a really nice community. It's a very small congregation, and they seem very committed to the church and one another. They have yet to invite us for dinner, but some people have been making some noises, so I think it's on the horizon. Everyone knows Baby H's name, even if people are still learning ours. (She is the only child under 4, so that does help.) It took a few weeks for anyone to mention how lovely it was to have her in the service, but I think that's only because they were so worried we would not figure out they had a nursery (it's usually not staffed, since we don't use it and Baby H is the only one under 4.)<br />
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The pastor is young, and sometimes seems to struggle to reach his congregation, but he tries hard and they encourage him. He says hello to us (win!) It's some crazy denomination that barely has communion and- fun fact- their baptism is not recognized by the Catholic Church. I kind of think that might be because they don't baptize... Phew, a quick Google search reveals that they do baptize believers. It could be worse. So yeah, their theology isn't really my favorite, but it's nothing crazy, and they work hard to put their faith into action. Since we're only here for two years, I can overlook some different theology.<br />
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But, the real reason we joined the church was that our friends did. K & B were friends with two sets of friends of ours from college- so while we never met them before we both moved here, we quickly became friends. We did some church hunting with them, and when we were down to two, we chose this one, because we already would have community there. Even though they'll be leaving long before we do (sniff), it's been so wonderful to go with them. We even have a tiny small group with them every other week! So, in addition to some other factors, and in spite of a few more (not just the music), that's why it's our new church home. It's good to settle in, start focusing on the positive instead of evaluating earnest work, and start working on building relationships.Raquelhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15668814616378636498noreply@blogger.com1