Some recent events

I started reading The Joy Luck Club, but E threw it in the recycling because it made me cry. So, I'm still looking for something to read.

Baby H can put herself to sleep! Except she usually likes to suck her pacifier, and it falls out if she yawns. Pretty funny- and I really don't mind getting up every five or ten minutes to put it back in if it means eating dinner in relative peace. I'm still hoping she finds her thumb- she currently is convinced that she can fit her whole hand in her mouth if she tries hard enough. If her hand gets out of her swaddle, she won't sleep because she's trying so hard.

Speaking of the above accomplishment, Baby H has been a model baby lately. Except for the extreme crying fit she had in the car when we were 30 minutes from anywhere. I eventually stuck her back in her car seat, her screaming her little head off, and figured if she didn't stop I'd just drive down to the doctor's. She did, though. Sheesh.

I went to the gym after the baby was sleeping. It was awesome. It made me so hungry I ate three pieces of pumpkin bread, though.

Turns our Baby H (and I) had thrush. We're feeling better, and she doesn't scream when she takes her medicine any more. She still spits it out, but I'm just as happy as long is it swishes around in there for a second.

It's cold and dark here the past few days. Hello, winter! At least we found our slippers.

E and I are planning our first sans-baby date. We're hoping to see HP7!!!! That's what lures me away from my baby- Harry Potter.

Life

We've been busy, so I haven't been posting. But I'm not sorry, because the blog is for fun, not for guilt. I've been nursing and burping and worrying and enjoying our baby, sleeping and taking walks and cooking (a little) and not washing dishes and sneaking in a shower every day and enjoying E's company this past month. (He's back to work today.)

I've been trying out my cloth diapers:

Using up the last week of our CSA produce- I love love love swiss chard:

You can also see the butternut squash and, way back there, roasted eggplant topped with garlic.

I've been spending time with my in-laws and going to church and calling my mom and trying to figure out what foods make my little one's tummy hurt. Planning for Christmas and catching up on gifts and phone calls and sending out birth announcements and doing lots (and lots and lots) of laundry. Life is good.

(ps- don't miss another new post below. Who knows when there will be more. Because of, you know, life.)

Things hoped for

We are so glad to be a family of three! In case anyone reads this who hasn't heard (T in Baltimore, have I lost you in my irregular posting?), Baby H's arrival into the world was awesomely smooth. SHE (!!!!!) did great, and is now progressing in normal 8-week-old style. (Basically, she cries a lot, sleeps a lot, and eats a lot. But she's really cute, and we'll go through a lot to see her smile during her 20 happy minutes a day.)

During my time in the hospital (and even before), I dreamed of taking H to the apple orchard/farm/fall festival place with E this October. I figured even if we just took a picture of a screaming baby with a pumpkin, it would be a success. Even better- we had a happy and well rested baby (and parents as well rested as we get these days). We overdid it a bit- we were still paying the price two days later of spending six hours that evening trying to get an overtired baby to stay asleep- but it was a beautiful, picture-perfect time.

We walked in the orchard:

and even found a few left over for H to "pick:"

My favorite spot:

E getting the best apple:

We had a picnic lunch, but there aren't pictures of that- we all ate, even baby H, so there weren't any spare hands for the camera. It was peanut butter and jelly, in case anyone was thinking we actually live a story-book life.

We made baby H take advantage of the photo ops:

(I like the grumpy bunny =)

And even walked down to the pumpkin patch. It was overrated, but we got this picture:

This was the conclusion we were looking for all those long weeks. It feels great.

The Last Days of Pregnancy

Well, these past months have been spent visiting with family and friends near and far, getting ready for baby, and working (with limited success) on staying out of the hospital. We're nearing the end of a 4-week stint of me being in or near the hospital- I haven't been home since we left in the middle of the night with some bleeding. It was terrifying, but not entirely unexpected, so we are more or less ready at home. We have (a few) little clothes, premie and newborn diapers, wipes, and a cradle ready for baby H. We even got the crib set up, and I bought a wrap to carry baby H around. This is so I can carry them around and pretend they are still inside, to ease my guilt for dragging baby H out before he or she decides they are ready (though, really, this is a life-saving necessity for both of us- so I don't feel too guilty!) While this isn't at all what we expected or hoped for, we are so looking forward to meeting little H and having everyone safely at home.

Some thoughts from the past few weeks.....

On surviving the hospital:

I wore my own clothes. I felt better, and the nurses treated me like I wasn't sick. Also, I was allowed to walk around the hospital, and I felt much more comfortable wearing clothes!

I didn't ask too many questions. If you ask if you can do something, they might say no. If you go ahead and do it, they are less likely to say you can't. (Of course, I used common sense here, and did ask about things I thought might not be a good idea.)

I ordered extra food! I had a small fridge in my room, and I would order cereal and milk for the next morning the day before. The food took 45 minutes to arrive, and my pregnant self and baby H couldn't always wait 45 minutes after waking up to eat. I also ordered extra butter, jelly, snacks, etc. And sometimes I'd order extra food just in case some of it was gross. Though by the end I had the menu pretty well figured out!

I didn't wake up when someone came in the room. Or at least, I pretended not to. Nurses frequently would leave and come back later, though I don't think this would have worked as well if I had been sicker. I also wouldn't wake all the way up for the residents' rounds- they typically asked the same questions and I gave the same answers every day. Rolling over was a definite no-no- there is a lot of me to roll over, and it would wake me up way too much. I did wake up, sit up, and put on my glasses when the whole group rounded.

I took walks and found every mildly interesting hospital destination. I'd try to get outside or at least walk through some well-lit skyways.

I was also blessed with many visitors, including my Dad's visit from back East, and E's frequent company.

On the last days of pregnancy:

With all the emphasis on getting baby H out safely, E and I have almost forgotten these are our last days as a two-person family! We are so, so excited to be entering a new season of life, but definitely mourn the passing of many good times "just the two of us," and are sad we didn't get to do a few things one more time before a small, needy person arrives.

I love feeling baby H squirming, and will be sad when I'm a single entity again. Especially in the last month of so, I feel them move much more regularly and I will miss having them so close and knowing they are safe. E can even hear the heartbeat now! Since we aren't actually in the hospital right now, we joke that he is the new fetal monitor.

I'm looking forward to rolling over and becoming a more familiar size, and I'm hopeful that my heartburn will disappear. I'm really, really looking forward to being able to move about the world on my own, without mentally keeping track of how far away the hospital is and how I would get there in an emergency. I'm also looking forward to being less physically careful as I recover- I'm pretty tired of "resting!" Perhaps most of all, I'm looking forward to meeting, holding, nursing, and getting to know our first child!

On parenting:

All of these experiences have brought home that parenting starts a little earlier than we had anticipated. One thing that has helped me keep a good perspective is reminding myself that baby H will have their own whole life- their own difficult circumstances, their own circumstances that work out unexpectedly well. And, many of those things are outside my control. My job is to parent them as well as I can, given the circumstances of their life. After all, I think of my life as my own, not something totally engineered by my parents (though they certainly contributed to it, in many great ways- thanks Mom and Dad!). And, knowing that baby H will (I imagine) think of his or her life in the same way helps relieve the guilt of having to make decisions that are between less-than-ideal and even worse.

On gender:

No, we still don't know if baby H is a boy or a girl! It is a big surprise to look forward to in the middle of the C-section (which I'm not particularly looking forward to), so I'm so glad we didn't find out. If anyone reads this in the next few days- it's your last chance to have your guess recorded for posterity before we know for sure! At different times I have hoped for either a boy or a girl, for various reasons, but I really can't decide which would be more exciting. It's fun to know I will be thrilled either way!

Current Stats

Notable updates from the 18th week:

Energy: Good Days (working, dinner, errands, social activities, productive member of household and generally functional adult) and Bad days (sleeping, eating, perhaps shower OR dishes OR fold a load of laundry) pretty much alternate.

Favorite foods: Chocolate milk. I've already moved on from whipped cream- that was so two days ago. I've also been lusting after peanut butter and Ritz crackers, but alas, we don't have any Ritz crackers. Yet.

Least favorite foods: Anything leafy and green, much to E's (and my) dismay. Don't worry, parental units, I'm still choking some down, so your grandchild will in fact be well nourished. Sadly, this is much less variable than the favorite foods.

Weight gain: Undisclosed. Did you really think that would be a stat?!? But I will say it is a FREQUENT topic of conversation and occasionally tears. (And yes, I know you need to gain plenty of weight during pregnancy, and it's not something to obsess about. Maybe if you tell that to my hormones, they'll believe you.)

Baby H's weight gain: Much more blog-worthy. According the extremely reliable babycenter.com, baby H is currently the size of a bell pepper (5 1/2 inches long from head to bottom, 7 ounces).

Next doctors appointment: In about two weeks. At which time we'll schedule the ultrasound.

Current "finding out" plans: Right now, I think we will attempt to be surprised about the gender. But, I won't be 100% sure until we walk out of the ultrasound still not knowing.

Picture (from last week) :

We first tried to take a picture in a shirt I had used before for pictures- but it has horizontal stripes. When I saw those pictures, we had to delete them. Also, I feel like I still suck my stomach in for pictures. Maybe I should start sticking it out instead? =)

Yum

If only my extra 300 calories per day could be ALL, ALL, ALL whipped cream!!!!!

That is all I have to say.

Seen, but not Spoken

Otherwise titled "Yes, we're alive"

Well, I'm pretty sure we've told everyone who reads this- but here is something we saw quite a while ago and kept to ourselves:

!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

There are two because I had brought a test, but NOT the instructions, when we went "home" for Christmas. So, when I took the test at about 3am New Years Day, I didn't know if it was positive or not. Hilarity ensued, culminating with some creative lies, a fruitless trip to 7-11 and a more productive trip to an actual grocery store, and a little bit of lateness for meeting our friends for brunch. During which we lied through our teeth (Sorry, A&D!)

"Morning Sickness" hit precisely upon walking into the airport for our trip home, and continued through the 10 or 12 week mark. In fact, I'm still not feeling great, to the amazement of casual acquaintances who assure me I'll feel better when I hit the second trimester. At 16 weeks, I'm not too convinced about that whole "super-woman second trimester" thing. But you never know, that could be just around the corner. In the meanwhile, I'm making the best of "super tired, but not throwing up."

Meanwhile, my 16-week-pregnant self and E are beyond thrilled that 1: spring has come to Small Town, Midwest, and 2: we are sharing it with our baby-to-be H. We are so, so excited, even if he (or she) is slowing me down a bit, leaving E to be doing approximately three times his fair share of dishes and laundry. And pretty much everything else.