E and I grew up Catholic, and we liked it. We entered non-denominational and Protestant groups quietly and naturally, because we liked them, not because we hated Catholicism. We like Catholicism. We do seem to have trouble liking Catholics.
Now, this is probably partly E's and my fault. We are not the most patient, long-suffering of people. Probably some of those Catholics we struggle with are beating our tushies in the game of long-suffering, just by putting up with the likes of us for five minutes. But up until recently, I have always been able to say we left the church very amicably, and that we might return someday. We found more vibrant, active, community centered churches outside of Catholicism, but I always hoped if we found the right community and put in some long-term effort (difficult when you move every 2 years), we'd settle into a vibrant, active, parish with a strong community.
Catholicism here in our new town seemed so promising. I heard good things about the (relatively distant) history of the parish here, so we started attending. No one said hello. It was overcrowded. There was no coffee after, or Bible study groups to get to know people or hear from Jesus. It's a good thing we knew the liturgy, because Catholic churches never come with cheat sheets- I can't believe a non-Catholic would ever come for a second visit, to be honest, after sitting awkwardly through the first (probably while everyone else is standing or kneeling.) Compared to seeker-friendly Protestant churches, things did not look good, but whatever- we grew up Catholic, so I can't say I was surprised. But then, we tried to join two different types of groups for families. We had to find them, and call, and call again. And then, they had no openings for us.
I'm gonna say it again- They had NO OPENINGS for us! And this, in the end, is what made me unable to say Catholicism and I parted ways amicably. My time in Protestant Land taught me one thing about evangelism- when some one ASKS to be closer to people and Jesus, you MAKE ROOM. I love Catholicism for the liturgy, the history, the awe, the focus on what God did rather than our response. I think people need the seasons, the rules, the vast community and body that is there. But, I think it will die unless they can make some room.
Maybe, one day, I'll be part of the church to encourage them in this. But, I don't think it will be here.
Yikes! That does not sound like a nice experience. Have you been able to find another, friendlier church?
ReplyDeleteOh R, it pains me so to read about your experience. I wish I could say it is an uncommon experience but sadly I know it is not, from my own personal experience. As you know I have had very positive experiences of christian community in Catholic parishes but it has been more the exception than the rule and I know how hard it is to "break in" to many, though not all, Catholic parishes. You would think that with such a cute baby at least someone would notice you. I want to send your post to the pastor of that parish, although I'm not sure it would make any difference.
ReplyDeleteI used to have such hope for the Catholic Church, many years ago when many people thought Vatican II really meant something other than a movement that went too far left. Over the last 10 or more years the Church has gotten more conservative which often means less welcoming, and more focused on rituals and practices as opposed to building the Kingdom and community. For those of you who don't know me, I'm still sticking it out with the Catholics. It's in my blood and it's like family to me. It may drive me crazy but I have to find a way to deal with it. I'm also in a very different place in my life with regard to my faith and Jesus and my life situation. I'm so impressed with you and E's thoughtful and practical approach to your faith and believe it or not I'm very happy you have found a church you like, whatever the denomination. BTW, how does one find a Christian church where the baptism is not recognized by the Catholic Church?!!!! Baptism seems to be the one thing that all Chrisitans ( yes, that's right Catholics are Christians :) ) I could say so much more but it's your blog!