Church in the Land of Strangers

So, lest my last post left you feeling all doom-and-gloom, let me first assure you that we are attending a church full of (as far as week can tell) terribly lovely people. This church hunt was our most discouraging, and I am now totally on board with all those people who decry the state of church in America. I'm so sorry for ever judging you.

Second, to all who attend churches who do not deserve to be placed in that decried state, let me plead with you: Please, please, please say hello to the new family. If you're not sure if they are new, you can always ask how long they've been coming. If you want to tell them about your awesome nursery, cool. If they demure, emphasize how lovely it is to have families worship together in the sanctuary. (If you don't think this..... well, that's a whole other post.) I'm hoping I can keep up with my own advice.

By the way, to our church in Small Town, Midwest- we miss you. We love you. You are so awesome. We were actually a little creeped out by your friendliness the first time we came. That's the way to do it. I might cry right now thinking about your awesomeness.

We tried what feels like many, many churches here. At least two we left partway though the service. Now, as I said before, we are certainly picky to a fault- but still. Both of the ones we left early, it was because no one seemed to be engaged in the service. Our current church has faults too (*cough* the music), but everyone has been perfectly lovely (i.e. they notice we exist), and it seems like they have a really nice community. It's a very small congregation, and they seem very committed to the church and one another. They have yet to invite us for dinner, but some people have been making some noises, so I think it's on the horizon. Everyone knows Baby H's name, even if people are still learning ours. (She is the only child under 4, so that does help.) It took a few weeks for anyone to mention how lovely it was to have her in the service, but I think that's only because they were so worried we would not figure out they had a nursery (it's usually not staffed, since we don't use it and Baby H is the only one under 4.)

The pastor is young, and sometimes seems to struggle to reach his congregation, but he tries hard and they encourage him. He says hello to us (win!) It's some crazy denomination that barely has communion and- fun fact- their baptism is not recognized by the Catholic Church. I kind of think that might be because they don't baptize... Phew, a quick Google search reveals that they do baptize believers. It could be worse. So yeah, their theology isn't really my favorite, but it's nothing crazy, and they work hard to put their faith into action. Since we're only here for two years, I can overlook some different theology.

But, the real reason we joined the church was that our friends did. K & B were friends with two sets of friends of ours from college- so while we never met them before we both moved here, we quickly became friends. We did some church hunting with them, and when we were down to two, we chose this one, because we already would have community there. Even though they'll be leaving long before we do (sniff), it's been so wonderful to go with them. We even have a tiny small group with them every other week! So, in addition to some other factors, and in spite of a few more (not just the music), that's why it's our new church home. It's good to settle in, start focusing on the positive instead of evaluating earnest work, and start working on building relationships.

Catholic Fail

E and I grew up Catholic, and we liked it. We entered non-denominational and Protestant groups quietly and naturally, because we liked them, not because we hated Catholicism. We like Catholicism. We do seem to have trouble liking Catholics.

Now, this is probably partly E's and my fault. We are not the most patient, long-suffering of people. Probably some of those Catholics we struggle with are beating our tushies in the game of long-suffering, just by putting up with the likes of us for five minutes. But up until recently, I have always been able to say we left the church very amicably, and that we might return someday. We found more vibrant, active, community centered churches outside of Catholicism, but I always hoped if we found the right community and put in some long-term effort (difficult when you move every 2 years), we'd settle into a vibrant, active, parish with a strong community.

Catholicism here in our new town seemed so promising. I heard good things about the (relatively distant) history of the parish here, so we started attending. No one said hello. It was overcrowded. There was no coffee after, or Bible study groups to get to know people or hear from Jesus. It's a good thing we knew the liturgy, because Catholic churches never come with cheat sheets- I can't believe a non-Catholic would ever come for a second visit, to be honest, after sitting awkwardly through the first (probably while everyone else is standing or kneeling.) Compared to seeker-friendly Protestant churches, things did not look good, but whatever- we grew up Catholic, so I can't say I was surprised. But then, we tried to join two different types of groups for families. We had to find them, and call, and call again. And then, they had no openings for us.

I'm gonna say it again- They had NO OPENINGS for us! And this, in the end, is what made me unable to say Catholicism and I parted ways amicably. My time in Protestant Land taught me one thing about evangelism- when some one ASKS to be closer to people and Jesus, you MAKE ROOM. I love Catholicism for the liturgy, the history, the awe, the focus on what God did rather than our response. I think people need the seasons, the rules, the vast community and body that is there. But, I think it will die unless they can make some room.

Maybe, one day, I'll be part of the church to encourage them in this. But, I don't think it will be here.